


Christmas in December

by rosa_himmelblau



Category: Wiseguy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-19
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-08 18:27:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19874089
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosa_himmelblau/pseuds/rosa_himmelblau
Summary: Not everybody can be the baby Jesus.





	Christmas in December

"Give me your finger," Frank said, and Vince obliged, but he didn't oblige quietly.

"You know, they make these things pre-tied," he said. "You just stick them on." Frank pulled the ribbon a little tighter than he really had to. "Ow! What're you so grumpy for, anyway? I let you use my house to hide Drake's Christmas presents, and all you've done is snap at me since you came over to wrap them. Were they all out of Christmas spirit when you went to the mall?"

"They don't have Christmas spirit at the mall," Frank said. "They have hucksters trying to make up in one month what they lose in the rest of the year. They have pathetic people trying to buy happiness and approval and fill the empty voids that fill their hearts."

"'Fill the empty voids that fill their hearts?'" Vince repeated. "How can a void—which, by definition is empty—fill something?"

"Shut up," Frank snapped.

"Did you kick Tiny Tim's crutch out from under him on your way here? Shoot a partridge out of a pear tree? Get a cup of bad eggnog?"

"You're always saying I'm always in a bad mood," Frank said. "So what are you complaining about?"

"Yeah, but this isn't your regular bad mood, this is more Scrooge Meets Godzilla. So what's up?"

"Do you know what the day after tomorrow is?" Frank asked rather menacingly.

Vince was not easily menaced. "Um . . . I'm going to go with Christmas for 400, Alex." He picked up another box and measured out some candy-cane-striped wrapping paper to cover it in.

"Yeah, it's Christmas. Every year, Christmas falls on December twenty-fifth." Frank seemed strangely saddened by this.

"Yeah, Frank," Vince agreed, "it's not like Easter, where they got a complicated code for it. It's just December twenty-fifth." Vince finished taping the box and handed it to Frank for be-ribboning. "And every year right after Halloween the ornaments and candy come out, and they start playing Christmas music, and by the time you're supposed to be in the mood for it, you're sick of it. And nobody remembers what the whole point is anyway, because they're too busy baking enough cookies for work and school and the family they really don't want to come over, and trying to buy the perfect present for the person who's trying to buy the perfect present for them— I get it, Frank, I get it. Christmas, commercialism, it's terrible."

"You know what else nobody remembers?" Frank asked quietly.

"What?" Vince put his finger on the spot where the bow would soon be, and Frank tied the white ribbon tight—but not as tight as before.

"If your birthday's on Christmas, they forget about that. Or if they remember it, it's as a PS on a Christmas card, and you don't get a cake, you get a candle on whatever Christmas dessert they're having, and nobody sings _Happy Birthday_ because they're too busy singing _Frosty the Snowman._ "

Vince was frowning at Frank, puzzled. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing. Is there anything else that needs wrapping?"

"Nope, we've done it all. I already took care of Uncle Mike's present."

"Thanks, Vince." Frank got up off the floor and began piling the boxes up to carry to his car.

"Lemme go get you a bag for those," Vince said, then almost as afterthought, "Frank, when's your birthday?"

"Later this month," Frank said.

Vince nodded. "Lemme go get that bag."

In a few minutes he came back with an oversized shopping bag. Frank had put on his hat and coat.

"You got Drake all day on Christmas?" Vince asked.

"No, he's spending the night Christmas Eve, opening his presents and having breakfast, then going back to his mother's about noon."

"So you're free all afternoon and evening?" Vince asked, making absolutely sure.

"Yes, Vince, I'm free all afternoon and evening," Frank said, not without some asperity.

"Great! We can take in a movie, and come back here for lasagna."

"What are you talking about?" Frank asked.

"Well, you're no baby Jesus, but we still gotta do something to celebrate your birthday, don't we?"

**Author's Note:**

> Written for my friend, Melody Clark, who shares her birthday with two gods. :-)


End file.
